How to introduce pegging to your lover

Lovers wispering

One of the most frequent question that I get from readers and followers is the one about the best way to present the idea of pegging to a lover.

Most people have a preconceived image in their minds regarding “strapon play”. The most widespread are almost all related to the BDSM Femdom games (Strong dominant women abusing submissive males) or to lesbian sexual activities. Images of sensual pegging as part of a loving and caring couple’s bedroom play are much more difficult to find and your lover may very well be unaware of this practice.

Just because you have discovered this new interest in pegging you cannot assume that your husband/wife/lover will have followed the same path. So the first task is to bring him or her up to speed on that new and exciting topic.

introduce pegging to your lover

There are two wide areas of stimulation involved in any form of sexual game: The physical and the mental ones. While we often spend a lot of time talking, writing and reading about the physical side it is often the mental one that will, in the end, have the greatest impact. It is often stated that the mind is the most important sexual organ in our body. Your job is to find the proper way to fire up your lover’s mind about your pegging desire.

Before talking to your partner you must decide what it is that YOU find arousing and inviting about pegging. Like so many other things in life, it will be much easier to “sell” the idea if it is crystal clear in your mind.

Lovers pegging

Many people are mostly turned on by the role-reversal of a woman becoming the “penetrator”.
For the woman it can be a major turn-on to be the active actor that’s “on top” and in control.
Many men are turned on by the physical stimulation they can get from pegging. The anus is one of the body’s areas with the most nerve ending so even a mild stimulation can bring forward a lot of new and usually pleasant sensations. The other major male turn-on factor is the prostate stimulation that they get for a good deep pegging.

FemDom pegging her slave

For others, the real fun is found in the extreme role-play of female domination (Femdom) where the strap-on dildo has always been the ultimate humiliation device. At the end of a long and arousing session nothing can make her total ownership of a man more absolute than a good hard and merciless pegging.

So, sit down and take the time to write a short list, stating all the reasons why you want to try pegging with your lover. If it is clear enough in your mind to write it down it is probably clear enough to start talking about it with your partner.

One last note: DO NOT surprise an unsuspecting lover by showing up with a secretly ordered strapon. Much better, and way more exciting, to talk about it first and shop together for your toy(s).